Applied Radiology

Dr. Phillips is a Professor of Radiology, Director of Head and Neck Imaging, at Weill Medical College of Cornell University, New York–Presbyterian Hospital, New York, NY. He is a member of the Applied Radiology Editorial Advisory Board.
One nice thing about NYC is that I can get a direct flight to anywhere. Anywhere. Well, except Tucson.

Still don’t care much for airports or airlines, however. I was in my usual airport-dazed status at LaGuardia awaiting a flight when I overheard people talking with a desk agent. Seems they had bought tickets with real money, and had been rewarded with “vapor” seats. Oversold. There is no other industry in the world that is as dysfunctional as the airlines appear to be. Hmmmmm… My mind raced. I am NOT advocating airlines as an effective business model. No. That would be insanity. But, that’s why I’m here.

“I have an appointment for an MR at 3:30.”

“Well, ma’am, it seems that your appointment is actually oversold. We don’t really have an appointment then, but if you’d like to wait, you can get a seat on the MR couch for tomorrow on the first MR out of here. I think it’s at 7:30. I can put you on standby.”

Wow. That would certainly be a great way to win hearts and minds. I’m trying to imagine the scene in the reception area. Keep your head down. Another way to work “airline style” would be with the baggage parallel.

“What do you mean my MR is going to cost an additional $200?”

“Well, sir, it seems that you’re a little bit over the weight limits here. I’m afraid you’re going to have to pay extra for those extra pounds. If you want us to scan that wide body here, you’re going to have to pay extra. We need bigger gowns, have to lubricate the gantry, make the scanner work harder, etc.”

This model could go further. $1 for a bottle of water, barium would be $10, and iodinated contrast could be free with one of our credit cards (low interest rates!), or with “frequent scanner” miles. I can see the competition building.

First class gets you your own personal waiting room, guaranteed times on the scanners, and “luxury” contrast media. Coach… well, you’re going to be uncomfortable. It’s going to be crowded with the masses. And, you take a much greater chance on oversold MR slots, or getting bumped from your appointment. I would foresee a rise in the “no frills” radiology practices. No appointments, folks. Show up at the door, and it’s a sprint for the scanner couch. The flag is down, and please, please, no pushing or tripping.

Maybe I’ll call my center “ScanBlue.” Unfortunately, it hasn’t worked for airlines, and I’m not thinking it would work for us. Mahalo.